Hiding What's Inside

Hiding What's Inside

- Ishana Ghosh

"Hello!

I am... Um... Actually I do...

Leave. Why not say something about you?"

Yeah I know

You were listening.

Yeah I know

I had to say you something.

But unfortunately,

I couldn't bring myself to...

I suddenly felt,

'How could I say you?'

There are so many secrets

bubbling inside.

There are so many things 

that bring crushing tides...

But when I look at you

and the desire to express

rises from within,

I go weak at the knees,

My courage subsides, and I say,

"How's everythin'?"

I can't just say you

what's going on within.

'Being an open book'

At the mere thought, dread fills in.

I know you care,

I know you will listen,

I know how much, sometimes, 

I strive to blend in.

But it's just so difficult

to bring out what's inside...

Because if I do,

I'm afraid there'll be nothing left to hide.

Opening up, for me,

is the most difficult thing.

I don't wanna be vulnerable,

Is it ok then, if I shut myself in?

I hear people on the net

say, we must share our story

but what after that?

As who, will people know me?

That rock- personality

which I've built up and I wear,

That'll be in vain, if I tell you

How little my soft heart can bear.

When I publish in my blog,

it is such a contradiction

'cause I don't wanna share with all, what's inside

I don't want ANY extra attention.

But still, here I am

because someone on YouTube inspired me.

I wonder what'll happen if I share...

Will I then feel I belong in this society?

_____