Forgotten Feelings

Forgotten Feelings

- Ishana Ghosh

Do you remember that day

when you were born?

Do you remember how it felt

to take your breath, for the very first time?

No. Of course you don't. But she does.

All of them, who yearned for your birth,

remember those feelings so well

and they'll gladly describe it to you,

once, twice, thrice, as many times

as you are willing to listen to it.

That's the day you first saw light

and yet those feelings are long gone

from the depths of the turbulent ocean inside,

being replaced by certain dominant urges

to disappear from the face of the world,

where, supposedly, you were born but never belonged.

The same feelings that overwhelm your loved ones

are nothing more than a childish notion of

holding on to the long gone past, to you.

The past that forever changes,

changing you in the process,

making you want to end that very thing

that made so many people smile,

that changed their lives so profoundly

when your tears turned into a smile.

You ponder death, as you feel

you won't feel it, just as you didn't

feel, the beginning of it all.

You know you'll not remember dying,

you'll not remember your life

if death is what we think it is.

So you think, there is no use.

You find no use in holding on to something

you won't even remember, in the end.

You think you'll get away with this deception

by letting yourself forget,

that it is not you alone you're living for,

it is not you who started it all,

that you can't just end something,

when you're not even the one behind it's beginning.

You forget, that just as it happened

when you first opened your eyes,

it's going to happen when you close them again.

You won't remember any of it

but there'll be people who'll be overwhelmed,

by a multitude of emotions;

their lives will again be changed.

There'll be those wanting to see you again,

loudly crying out your name

but you won't feel it,

you won't even remember it;

making things all about you, yet again.

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